Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Other Dunwoody Humbled

There is a new satirist in town, and she is good! In fact she is so good, her current work not only got past the Thought Censors at the Dunwoody Fan Magazine, she scored the lead-off letter.

And the vehicle for this satirical masterpiece?


This is the only tell that this is a satirical piece (all satire must have a tell). As we all know Chik-fil-a is run by Truett Cathy, who, if Dunwoody were in the business of handing out keys to the city, would surely warrant the first. Telling Mr. Cathy he cannot open a Chik-fil-a is like telling Bill Grant he cannot build million dollar clutter homes on Chamblee Dunwoody.

But the selection of a chicken joint was simply brilliant. It reminds us of the recent Chicken Fiasco from the Dunwoody Home Owners Association City Council and it strikes terror into the hearts of all loyal Dunwoodians by evoking images of the kind of people who eat fried chicken. Not even tax hikes are more frightening than the prospect of those people visiting, or worse yet, staying in Dunwoody.

But this author is a master of subtlety, foregoing any mention of watermelon smoothies or Cadillac-only drive through lanes. And with Chik-fil-a there would be no discussion of chicken bones littering the street--this author is a fencer, striking with the point, not the edge.

So it should be of no surprise that she followed with a fluid transition to the slippery slope argument, long a favorite of those whose sole focus is impeding progress. The mere suggestion that a Chik-fil-a would be gateway drug to trashing the zoning of the adjacent, and long time empty, retail property surely had the same bobble-heads who opposed Goodwill (now in Sandy Springs and John's Creek) nodding in agreement.

But the icing on the cake, tapping into a consistent whine emanating from NE Dunwoody, was traffic. Just imagine what was going through those NIMBY minds. Images of ungracefully aging Cadillacs sporting chrome spinners cruising our cobble-stone like streets flocking to and fleeing from yet another Atlanta Chik-fil-a. Could this be the only thing worse than day-hops at the community college? Indeed it could.

So once again dear reader, there's a new satirist in town and she's damn good. Check it out for yourself.