Saturday, January 10, 2009

Self Loathing Intervention For Council, Mayor

Recent rumors that the Council might permanently move council meetings to Blue Ridge has not only caused quite a stir here in the city, but has caught the attention of famed LA radio talk show host and trained psychiatrist Dr. Phyllis Stein. The situation was brought to the attention of "Dr. Phyllis" by former Dunwoody resident and man-about-town, Ryan Seacrest. When contacted, an unnamed source with Mr. Seacrest's publicist stated "He couldn't believe they put city hall in another city, then when they retreated to Stone Mountain, he was stunned. But to hear they are moving city council meetings to Blue Ridge, well, that was the last straw. He had to get professionals involved."

Dr. Phyllis, displaying her trademark frankness, said "Clear case of self loathing, no doubt about it. Now I know that most shrinks would write this off as buyer's remorse, but they don't have the balls to be in this business. These excuses are enabling and cause more damage than good. This case clearly calls for an intervention and as soon as my producers can schedule it, I am going down there and fix that entire dysfunctional city." For the record, Dr. Phyllis would neither confirm nor deny a personal or professional relationship with Mr. Seacrest responding with "our relationship is in no way related to the problems in Ryan's home town."

As one might imagine, this is the buzz of Dunwoody. At the village barber shop, Mac "The Knife", owner and operator, offered his insights. "I cut the mayor's hair. I cut the Council's hair. Well except that babe, I don't know where she goes, but I can do at least as good and I'll give her the man's price. But I do cut everyone's else's hair and I know these people in the way that only someone with a sharp razor gets to know people. And I can tell you one thing, they ain't movin' to no Blue Ridge. No sir. These are St. Simons folks, through and through."

Now wouldn't that be an interesting twist. No matter, upcoming events are sure to be exciting in Dunwoody. When will the Dr. Phyllis intervention happen? Will it be Blue Ridge or St. Simons? After the move will the council decide to hold their retreats in some exotic locale, like, say...Dunwoody?

Stay tuned dear readers, we live in interesting times.