Monday, July 29, 2013

How Do You Like Them Apples?

A friend of the The Other acquaintance...Alright already...just a neighbor...became very interested in an apple, but not just any apple, he wanted an apple just like his golf buddy over in Sandy Springs had. Now this neighbor had never actually had a taste of his buddy's apple, but his buddy went on and on about how red and beautiful, how juicy and delicious this apple was until TOD-neighbor became obsessed. He had to have one of those apples.

He discussed this apple issue with other friends, colleagues, fellow parishioners and neighbors until many of them became interested too. To this day he contends that four out of five folks who heard about these apples became obsessed with having one.

As he now relates the story he and many of the other apple fans went to the market in Decatur and got apples--well in the interest of full disclosure they nicked 'em--and they were indeed things of beauty. All shiny and fresh. He took pictures of his and posted them on the internet for all to see.

His anticipation grew unbearable and it was soon time for a private taste of purloined heaven. He hesitantly sliced into that gorgeous apple anticipating the juicy, delicious treat he had lusted after for so long. Instead he found the flesh full of worms and at the center a decaying putrid core emitting odor so foul it brought tears to his eyes, breakfast revisited the back of his tongue, and the cat, known throughout the neighborhood for sharing the leftover portions of voles, fled never to be seen again. Try as he might he could not get far enough away fast enough. The former object of his adoration now made road apples seem like a delicacy. He was not alone.

Enjoy your apples!