Poor To Set Up Shop

Rumor has it that Goodwill may open a retail facility in Dunwoody to serve the needs of Dunwoody's homeless and underprivileged and possibly draw upon the similarly disadvantaged in other communities.

Needless to say, the Dunwoody community is excited about the prospect.

During a chance encounter with a high ranking official of the Catholic Church at Oscar's Villa Capri that official reiterated "The Church's love for the poor...is a part of her constant tradition." While there was some obvious concern that this new facility represented real competition to their efforts to address the needs of the local poor, the official expressed confidence saying "we will kick their butts even if we have to pass the basket twice every mass from now until hell freezes over." When asked about donating his Jaguar, the conversation abruptly ended.

Baptist representatives on the other hand disclosed their belief that it was the mission of all God's children to amass as much wealth as possible and donate at least ten percent to their church. Where this money might go remains undisclosed but they do appear to be clearing ground for a new facility of some sort and expressed no concerned about local competition on the charity front.

A representative of a local Jewish congregation politely but firmly refused comment saying "we would prefer not to talk about money, particularly not having any" but seemed enthusiastic about the prospects of a new discount retail operation in Dunwoody.

Local Methodists were too busy addressing recently discovered moral black holes and the loss of parishioners to concern themselves with people looking for deals on blue jeans, but showed some interest when it was suggested this might be a good place to search for their lost ones.

Unitarians by and large remain committed to "addressing the issues of poverty of the mind" and viewed this development with somewhat detached curiosity.

All in all, it is so heartwarming to see this community, with all the distractions of creating a new city, pull together in the spirit of charity to help those less fortunate. This is the Dunwoody we all knew it would be.

TOD