Talk To The Hand...

...the bureaucrats are busy.

A resident of Dunwoody has been trying to get the city to stop ignoring his requests for discussion. Topic? Stormwater issues. The matter at hand seems pretty straightforward and involves a drainage basin in need of an outlet and frankly the ownership of the basin itself should not result in the city ignoring a resident. And by city we mean the city manager, the mayor and a councilman. 

However, if you want to openly violate the sign ordinance with your inflate-a-dino this city will not only listen, they'll give you the key to the city and rewrite the code to suit your (currently in vogue) style of ticky-tacky. Does anyone we've elected not see what's wrong with this picture?

How Could Anyone Believe This?

A local journalist is suing the City of Dunwoody, and a few of its bureaucrats for failure to comply with an open records request around an alleged issue with a cop.

Who could possibly believe this? After all the chief wins awards.

Fine, so the cops did falsify their own police reports, but it was all for a good cause, right? But allegations of violating open records laws?

Who could possibly believe this? After all the chief wins awards.

OK, fine, there was the dick-pic fiasco, but that was just a harmless example of boys being boys, right. But lying about missing text messages?

Who could possibly believe this? After all the chief wins awards.

Yeah, yeah, quit yer bitchin about the fact DPD never enforces traffic violations in or near the Village. But suggesting they willfully lied?

Who could possibly believe this? After all the chief wins awards.

Even The Deer

The World Is All A'Twitter

You Might Be An Idiot If...

In a recent opinion piece Maureen Downey was pondering the impact of screens, specifically phones, and student achievement and overall wellbeing. The general consensus is these things are about as good for your kids as crack cocaine. Laced with fentanyl. And it does make you wonder if A.D.H.D really stands for "Another Damn Handheld Device." It seems most everyone agrees these things take tender young minds and turn them into complete mush. 

Well, everyone except some parents. This is where the idiots arrive on the scene. Apparently there exist parents who thought having a baby was a good idea but keeping the resulting child save from harm, well, not so much. They actually justify ensuring that their walking STDs have these devices at all times. So...

If you think your kid should have a smartphone for emergency communications, then you might be an idiot. Only an idiot would think it reasonable for a child in an active shooter situation to think "well, I better text mom right away--it turns out I won't be taking Sally to the prom because she just got shot." 

Or, if you think your little darling needs a phone so you can reach out regarding their requests for tonight's dinner menu, pasta or pizza, it doesn't matter, then you probably are an idiot. Wrong. On so many levels. About time you started adulting, maybe even parenting. She's gonna eat what you fix and if she doesn't like it, well, then don't eat anything. We have a youth obesity crisis partly because they're eating too much, most of it crap, but mostly because they're flopped on the sofa with their eyes glued to a smartphone screen. 

Or, if you think a smartphone is some kind of educational asset in a child's hands, then you really are an idiot. Do you really think keeping up on the latest Taylor Swift dating drama or breakup lyrics is not what they are really doing when they are supposed to working? They do call it "school work" for a reason. 

Finally, if you think anyone in High Tech that makes this technology lets their children anywhere near it, then you are not just an idiot, you're a clueless idiot, who probably spends way too much time making eye-love to your smartphone even when the real person you bred with is in the same room. 

Skid Marks

Makes you wonder, doesn't it? Who keeps taking out these signs? Are they doing it on purpose or are they just they typical incompetent driver that seems to dominate the village? What would have happened if it were a pedestrian rather than a sign? After all, folks in daVille actually do walk even without an interstate lane underneath their feet. 

And does it even matter? Dunwoody bureaucrats, including the much ballyhooed CoP have state most loudly by their [in]actions that they're not inclined to enforce any traffic laws in these areas. None. Nada. 

So the only question remaining is: will they have to float a bond to pay for the repair?

Make It A Drinking Game

We've been suffering through a prolonged period of linguistic entropy. Some would blame it on social media, others on the pandemic, and some others on just increased general ignorance. Folks are misusing some words, abusing others, and making some up. There is an upside. You can make commonly abused words into "triggers," in a good way. You see one online in click-bait? Don't click. You hear the abuse on TV? Change the channel. Trip over one in something you're reading. Stop. Just stop. You can't make them stop, but you can stop yourself. 

Even better, if you have the time and inclination, then when confronted with an odious affront to intellect, take a sip. Preferably an adult libation. Let's look at a few shot-worthy nuggets.

Bussing or busses. This one you've got to see in print, but if they're not talking about getting some face time and making wet noises, fully clothed, then take a shot. Given spell checkers routinely flag this, seemingly not artificially intelligent enough to know the other meaning, it is an unconscionable infraction. Maybe two fingers. 

Physicality. While this does pass the spell checker it is still wrong, more than mildly unpleasant to the ear. It seems to have originated with jocks-turned-sportscasters trying to sound like they learned something during their college years. Certainly deserves taking a sip and will help soothe the pain of a losing game. 

Athleticism. Often used in the near occasion of physicality which accelerates the listener towards a solid buzz. Depending on the banter and color commentary you could be in the "just don't care" zone before the end of the first quarter. Even with the new clock rules. 

Hack. If something isn't getting chopped up or the reference isn't to a watch movement just close your eyes and take a long, deep sip. This usually is found in writing, almost always on the interweb finding its way into the clickable headline. Do. Not. Click. There is nothing on the other end of that link but unadulterated crap. Take that solid gulp and stay safe.

These are just a few examples, and surely there are many, many more. Plus, they are making them faster than you can gag on them. Thankfully you can vaccinate yourself against this brain rot with a healthy dose of brain bleach. Remember: thirst is a dangerous thing.

End RoR

If the city really wants to make the village pedestrian friendly there are a few things they can do. 

They could start enforcing traffic laws. Dunwoody apparently has such a widespread reputation for non-enforcement that speeding is more the rule than the exception and red lights are frequently run with drivers sometimes flooring it ten yards before the crosswalk. Heaven forbid a pedestrian thought red means red and began to cross. Enforcement has never been even a bottom-of-the-list priority and that is not going to change. Apparently actual public safety does not garner awards. 

Something other jurisdictions are trying is eliminating Right-on-Red (RoR) as drivers never look to their right and will flatten any pedestrian trying to cross, even though the pedestrian has the walk-man light right of way. This change could make a significant improvement in pedestrian safety, much more so than banning drive through windows which the city seems hell-bent on doing. Could the mayor still be miffed about those trash cans at Burger King?

Of course outlawing RoR won't actually work because this city manager is never going to enforce traffic laws even though it is his top priority job. And yet...he keeps that job.

Guinea Pigs

In the lip flapping leading up to the Trail Bond vote King John observed that Shining PATH did not have experience in putting their pavement in areas like Dunwoody which requires locating it in folks front and back yards. It is almost as if Dunwoody was/is a "what if trial balloon." 

But why Dunwoody? Is it just because city hall hasn't seen a project they don't like whether we do or not?

And...why not somewhere else? How about Morningside? Maybe Ansley park? Don't they need sweat walking to their fave eateries? Or here's an even better idea: put their pavement in Buckhead it is sure to impact the crime situation. And think about it, wouldn't the governor love one of these in his front yard?

Bless Their Hearts

Seems like city hall has joined the special olympics of city services having replace the broken light on the parkway. With a bright white LED creature that doesn't even look like the others. Maybe they'll say it is for safety but what about the one right next to it that works only intermittently? Isn't that unsafe at least some of the time. 

All you can say it "bless their hearts."

Is It A People Park?

Or is it a car park? Seems the current plan for the park on Roberts, previously the site of Austin Elementary, calls for over one hundred parking spaces. When called out on social media regarding why the hell you need 100+ parking spaces the retort suggested this was just a preliminary plan and could be changed based on "community input." Guess who curates "community input." That's right, the very same folks who came up the the 100+ figure in the first place. So, yeah, it might change. Maybe when someone yells "switch" the decision maker will come up with a need for paving the entire park.