Thursday, July 30, 2020

PSA: Boycott "Sign-aholic"

We have a new, most egregious member of the Uglify Dunwoody campaign supported by city hall, but with your help they can be shown down the path paved by DaVinci Donuts, another eye assault offender. The task at hand is simple: just do not buy their crap.

Now some might say "them's fightin' words," so let's be clear: during this COVID pandemic co-morbities exacerbate that disease and increase mortality. Sign-aholic's nuggets of instant diabetes attack the body on two fronts. First,  Wheat Belly launches you towards obesity, a known friend of COVID. Then, "instant diabetes" isn't that hyperbolic as these gems contain gobs of sugar. Even without COVID, type 2 diabetes is a slow, painful killer. With all the nutritional value of carnival cotton candy would you really feed this to your children? Would you eat it yourself?

Well, you've gotten this far so the answer is probably "Yes." So let's do what daVillians do: make lemonade. 

You can fulfill your civic duty, resisting the city's Uglify Dunwoody campaign and satisfy that craving you first acquired arriving home from that long flight welcomed by the smells of Cinnabon on Concourse A. You can make your own, learning not just about sticky buns but a little something about YouTube. You see, YouTube is more than just cat TV. Sure, there are lots of cat videos out there but there are also some really good, educational videos. "Trained by YouTube" is really a thing. So we're going to point you to a purveyor of excellent cooking videos consistently second to but one (you really should watch Jacques Pepin bone out a chicken). If you haven't already, cruise on over to Bon Apetite's YouTube channel and let Sohla school you on the simple pleasures of making your own sticky buns:

You'll be stunned by how easy this really is. Seriously, if you need some fun activities with the kids (or grandkids) it doesn't get much easier. Plus, you get a new, creative way to use your cast iron skillet. 

While these are still going to be like putting your pancreas on a monster sugar roller coaster without the benefit of that security bar you will at least have the benefit of ingredient selection and quality control. You can choose to lessen the amount of sugar. You might experiment with alternatives to over-hybridized wheat flour or possibly use heirloom wheat flour. And you have complete control over the fruit used in the filling. It would be a stretch to call them "healthful" but you will be certain there are no unnecessary additions for appearance, "shelf life" or taste enhancements. (For a cinnamon junkie looking for a healthful alternative TOD wholeheartedly recommends Carrots Ottolenghi style.)

So that's as good as it gets: fun with the kids, as healthful as something like this could ever be and a valuable contribution to stop the city's efforts to Uglify Your Dunwoody.