Dumb Terror

Reacting to the recent spate of terroristic activity in Dunwoody, our PD is pulling an officer from his routine patrols and sending him halfway around the world to protect and serve from afar. If you think this is just another City Junket, one that would never happen if not covered by other people's money, or that we would not make this investment in our own safety, or worse yet, you think there are no terrorists targeting Dunwoody, then think again.

The danger is clear. And it is here.

This was revealed during a visit to a local asian restaurant, a family run operation that may well be a front for an ancient terrorist organization. The owner, a wiry old man, revealed some truths obviously known to our PD, but hidden from the population at large.

"I am leader of Phalen Dong."

So? We don't care, we're looking for Holder of Dinner Menu. We're here to eat.

"You will care. Phalen Dong...ancient society, formed during Mang Dynasty, to destroy Men of Great Stupidity and strike terror into the hearts of the Merely Dumb."

You mean the "Ming Dynasty"?

"No, Ignorant One. Mang Dynasty. Mang Man of Great Stupidity, whose misdeeds inspired Phalen Dong who then ended Mang's reign after thirty days. Phalen Dong prevailed, but many remain who celebrate the Month of Mang, so Phalen Dong ever vigilant, always ready to arise."

Fine. So what can that possibly have to do with the price of Moo Shu Pork in Dunwoody?

"Where need is great we appear. Followers of Mang gain strength in Dunwoody. The Merely Dumb align their forces--become Men of Great Stupidity--then the Phalen Dong must rise again. Stupidity will be destroyed and a dark fog of fear will surround the Dumb."

At this point the old man was interrupted by the sounds of breaking china emanating from the kitchen. He disappeared into the back and amidst the old man's piercing screams a bus-boy shot out, chased by the Flying Pan of Phalen Dong which left a small but prolific scalp wound on the poor boy as it raced past him towards the door.

So there you have it. The Phalen Dong, clearly a well-armed terrorist organization, is in our midst. Dunwoody is at great risk, and under the circumstances sending our Police Force to a foreign country may just be the smartest thing this city is capable of.