Friday, January 8, 2010

Correcting Rights

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
In this year's session under the Gold Dome, legislators will consider two bills addressing in what way and to what extent our rights will continue to be infringed. In the Senate we have  Senate Bill 291 and in the House Georgia House Bill 615, both of which simplify the process of obtaining a valid GFL, and clarify some of the (some say intentional) confusion around where concealed (or open) carry applies.

Of the two, the House bill is superior as it:
  • requires licensing by the Secretary of State, not probate courts
  • permits open carry without a license
  • protects requisite private information
  • provides for permanent licensing
  • provides greater clarity on where carry applies
  • provides for temporary surrender at prohibited locations
Those opposed to second amendment rights decry the fact that this expands concealed carry. This "expansion" would include locations, like public sidewalks, where protests might be legally held--remember the Scientology protests on Shallowford just a few months ago? It would also cover access to businesses prohibited from arbitrarily denying service to customers based on almost any other "consideration". This "expansion" would almost put second amendment rights on par with these first amendment  and civil rights (indirectly based interpretations of the Constitution's Commerce Clause).

Almost.

It still requires fees that would be considered a "poll tax" were this about voting rights. It also requires background searches, fingerprinting and data retention, by the government, of private information that would have civil libertarians screaming were it applied to something even as clearly a privilege as driving a car. But "almost" is better than what we have now.

While this bill will not put Georgia in the company of Constitution-respecting states like New Hampshire it is a step towards restoring our second amendment rights and deserves the support of all Georgians who believe in our country and support its constitution.

Let your legislators know where you stand.

Friday, January 1, 2010

No Comment

A neighbor recently asked why this blog doesn't allow reader comments and received the neighborly answer of "not sure anybody reads it and not interested in soliciting comments".

After some reflection it was obvious this question deserved a more public and thorough lambasting.

First, this is not your wailing wall, it's mine. You want one, then create your own.

Then, for the most part, reader comments are little more than self-aggrandizing, pithy quips or worse yet, useless, counter-productive whining. If all the more you have to offer is whining, and anonymous whining at that, then try here, here, or even here. Whine to your heart's content.

As has been mentioned before, it is pretty well documented that if you are staring at a brain-sucking screen, reading a blog, and especially if you have read this post this far, you are probably an idiot. And frankly my dear, no one gives a damn about your idiot comments.

And how is it so certain that you're an idiot? Well, by now you've been twice labeled an idiot with numerous opportunities to link away and yet you persist in the hope you might be able post a comment offering up that last little piece of your mind.

So here's a bit of unsolicited advice: you just might want to become more self-aware of your general reading habits.

Ask yourself: do you read more blog postings than magazine articles? No, not People Magazine---a real magazine, like Economist, Scientific American, or even Garden and Gun. You know, something to make the synapses fire, perhaps put a few facts in your head, or offer a reasoned opinion. And did you know there are these really cool things called books? They're a lot like magazines except they are generally smaller, though thicker and with way more pages. Some have pictures. And, there are these really cool places called libraries. And you can go to a library and borrow a book to read without even paying! That's right---it's FREE! So instead of squinting a this screen, proving you are an idiot, you could be curled up in a comfortable chair, with a favorite beverage, reading a really good novel or an excellent historical work.

At the end of the day, if you would quit reading blogs, quit with your whiny comments, and start reading books and some real magazines you might get yourself informed, and you might wake up one day and find you are no longer an idiot. You might even have something to say that is worth hearing. Just not on this blog.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Restaurant Review: Dunwoody "Club and Café"

Opening last year with equal portions of fanfare and hype, the Dunwoody "Club and Café" is a relative newcomer to the greater Atlanta scene. The pre-opening hype designed to garner an enthusiastic local reception combined with the incessant, often embarrassingly harsh comparisons to the rival Dekalb's "Soul Food Station" all but guaranteed that reality would fall short of expectations. To obtain a fair appraisal this review covers dining experiences both at the early stages of operation and after the owners and staff had settled in.

After a brief operation in temporary digs, The Club and Café opened in a new facility situated at the south end of a large and poorly laid out parking arena (it is simply too disorganized to call it a "lot"). The building is low slung with an architecture and exterior decor somewhat reminiscent of that found in "Lady's" magazines from the post-war era. Not at all unpleasant but somehow disturbing, like a the single remaining photograph after an old house burns--it doesn't belong here--it doesn't belong now.

Upon entering the front door you immediately arrive in the main dining room. Directly across is a huge, sweeping, curved bar, dominating the south side of the restaurant. To the left are six generous booths and a large private dining room. Alas, these are available by reservation only and the means of securing a reservation is somewhat secret. At least to this reviewer. On the right is the kitchen, and in stark contrast to promises by the owners, this kitchen is not exposed to diners' view. Restrooms are tucked away behind the large partitions concealing the kitchen, an architectural construct reminiscent of the men's room entry on Concourse A.

The fitment at the bar is sumptuous, though noticeably more so behind the bar than on the patron side. It is also the center of activity, commanding the attention of most of the wait-staff as well as the obligatory bartenders. It is as if the restaurant designer took Shopsin's observation that "the profit is in the liquids" to heart and devoted a majority of the effort and resources to potable purveyance. As one would expect, service at the bar is most attentive and drinks at the bar certainly qualify as a "good pour".

The dining room falls somewhere between elementary school cafeteria and third rate sidewalk Café and was the first real indication that the facility itself was not new or re-newed and may have even been purloined. Recycle, repurpose and reuse all have their place. That place is not the dining fitment of a restaurant serving an alleged top end demographic. The tables were on the smallish side and while they appeared to be in good shape were obviously used. The carpet had not only uglied out it had worn out, becoming thread bare in heavily trafficked areas with separated seams being held together with duct tape. While many would consider this unsafe, warranting immediate redress, the owners priority appears to have been the bar and private areas with little emphasis on the common area.

Or perhaps the money went into the kitchen.

Perhaps not. One cannot see how the food is prepared thus forcing the diner (and critic) to avoid the distraction of Kitchen Nightmarish antics and focus on what comes out of the kitchen. After all, what does the Head Chef's wife's spat with a nearby competing restaurant have to do with the quality of food at this one?

The menu was poorly presented and being unavailable in any printed form was delivered verbally with great enthusiasm, but without much detail on either ingredient or preparation. Available fare was virtually the same as the Soul Food Station the owners intended to supplant. This was not totally unexpected since the pre-opening announcements indicated the Club and Café would offer more of the same, but would be a better value. Originally the owners intended to bring in professional restauranteurs, but at the last moment decided to toque-up and put their own chefmanship on display.

And it truly is more of the same. That said, a notably excellent offering is the Mighty Meaty Super Supreme Deep Dish Double Crust pizza pie. A real pizza pie with enormous amounts of meat, cheese and veggies sandwiched between two thin crusts, topped with sauce and cheese and baked in a spring-form pan. Nothing else on the menu compares in taste or value. Unfortunately for fans of the Club and Café this delectable comes directly from the kitchens of Dekalb's Soul Food Station. Not from their menu---this is delivery.

Otherwise, most fare was over cooked and over seasoned offering mushy mouth feel and monochromatic flavor profiles. When dining at the Club and Café, one is advised to remember the rule of etiquette stating that "what goes in on the fork, goes out on the fork, if one must". One must.   But at least one can clear the palette with one of those fine drinks from the bar, right? Not so fast. Apparently a good pour is reserved for those at the bar and what gets delivered to the table is at least watered down. Even the wine was opened before being brought out. Consider ordering that pizza with a bottled beer, unopened, and bring your own church key.

As for waitstaff, one must consider this is early in the operation with little time to select, train and develop staff. The owners' statements this was to be a "classy" operation leads one to expect a  well appointed and professional,  though not distractingly attractive waitstaff. And by no means is any waitress at the Club and Café even minimally qualified to work at Hooters. It was later learned this was by design with an explicit policy to deny the, shall we say, more esthetically qualified the opportunity to demonstrate their skills.

At first glance the commitment to value seemed like a reasonable assertion if one assumes that all kitchens have bad days and this was just one really bad day. But like many restaurants of its kind, the Club and Café could not survive without substantial outside investment. While restaurants are nominally about food, fun and dining, they are nothing if not a business, and in business where the money comes from greatly influences where the money goes. The bar is an obvious money maker and resource taker. Outside money probably has access to private dining with a far superior cuisine and level of service. The laughter from the private dining room cannot be completely explained by opening enthusiasm.

The second visit was no less revealing than the first.

The appointments were largely unchanged. The bar was bustling. The kitchen was still hidden from view, but one can sometimes hear what is being said and as one would expect this is mostly a distraction.  The dining area was unchanged and the booths and private dining were clearly still the place to be.

The menu was now in print, almost professionally, and the offerings had seen little change though there had been an attempt by one part-owner to remove the Mighty Meaty Super Supreme Deep Dish Double Crust pizza from the menu replacing it with a seasonal offering appealing to a small but vocal vegan crowd. Some latitude must be offered on this point since the Club and Café itself was founded on the support of a vocal minority but this time sanity prevailed and the Mighty Meaty remains a menu mainstay. And it continues to be delivered by the Soul Food Station.

There was some hope for cuisine improvement as several scrumptious looking dishes passed temptingly close on their way from kitchen to booths and private dining. Ignoring the long standing warning, again from Shopsin, against ordering "what he's having", orders were placed by pointing to dishes and booths. That resulted in a salad from which not quite all the wilted bits had been plucked and a chicken diablo on overcooked rice. The chicken itself was underdone as if it were delivered from the kitchen before it was quite ready. The other dishes were little better. A shrimp cocktail of six small, overcooked shrimp with a gritty component from the kitchen's failure to properly clean and de-vein. The cocktail sauce was bland and tasteless, but at least not distracting. A watery caprese salad came with tomatoes better suited to frying. Then there was the "signature steak": a healthy portion of NY strip cooked to order. Apparently "how would you like your steak cooked" is a rhetorical question at the Club and Café.  While the long edge of fat was properly crisped, only the far opposite ends of the strip appeared to have seen any heat whatsoever. If you trim away the fat and the two ends you would be left with a perfectly raw piece of meat, the very heart of the steak.  One has to wonder how you would do this even if you wanted to.  And the cheesecake! Flavorless and actually a bit tough, arrogantly bad, as if no one else in Dunwoody would be allowed bake a cheesecake. At least it was cooked.

A fellow diner, quite the fan of a good sloe gin fizz, watched from afar as the bartender poured. Shortly afterwards he noticed another sloe gin headed to one of the booths, but it came from a different bottle. Surprised, he snagged the waitress:
"Do you have call and bar brand sloe gin?"
"Of course not", she responded.
"But I just saw them pour my drink from one bottle and a booth drink from another."
"I'm sure you're mistaken. We only have one sloe gin."
But dining is about more than food and drink--it includes atmosphere and more importantly, service. As noted earlier, drinks are drinks (sometimes), and what comes out of even the best kitchen may vary from plate to plate, but service, now that's what separates great dining from mere sustenance.

The waitstaff generally had a noticeably improved attitude, more smiles if not greatly improved attentiveness (or attractiveness). As the menus were presented mention was made of this improvement in cheer.
"Well business must be improved, you seem almost giddy."
"Not really, business is pretty much the same as always."
"Are they tipping better or did someone get a raise?"
 The waitress glanced to the bar and noting that the bartenders were in their normal mode of ignoring the dining area, she leaned over and said in a whisper,
"We can't call it a raise, but it is better than a raise. See we have these outside investors",
she winked as she smiled and continued,
"and the owners, they can pretty much take as much money as they want whenever they want.  That's why business doesn't really matter. Anyway, they wanted this gold plated health insurance and, like, there's some rule, you know, that if they get it we gotta get it. So we did."
Another mystery solved.

Then, believe it or not, things went downhill. This dining experience included a couple of business acquaintances making the mishandling of the bill even more of an embarrassment than just the usual "I'll, get it--No, I'll get it" pas de deux. It seems the prices on the menu had changed since our order and we were to pay the new (and no surprise here) higher prices. Even more insulting was the suggestion that perhaps we had made a mistake, but since it was such a small amount relative to the overall bill we could just "add it to the bill next time". Apparently the flow of outside money was not sufficient to prevent gouging the patrons.

So there you have it, dear readers. After one full year of operation the Dunwoody Club and Café presents no credible challenge to any of the top players in Atlanta's culinary landscape. Those with even a minimally refined palate who are looking for good value, attentive service, a pleasant dining atmosphere and creative cuisine will be much happier at Roswell's Woodfired Brick Oven, Marietta's Square Deal Diner, Norcross's Whistle Stop Café, Decatur's Funky Falafel, or even the old standby, Dekalb's Soul Food Station.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Assault Weapon

In the mid to late 1700's American colonists found themselves under the control of an imperialistic government so harsh in its restrctions and so demanding of the fruits of their labors, that they found it necessary to take up arms against what was then the legitimate government in America.   Their fight for freedom cost many their lives, some on the King's gallows, and put many more lives and livelihoods at stake. For this great effort these patriots put everything, their homes, their families, their honor and their lives, on the line.

Having recently freed themselves from oppression, they formed a government with separation of powers, each part held in check by the others and with provision to amend and adapt this government to better serve those to come after. In order to ensure their progeny the liberties for which they had just successfully fought and to provide us with the means to maintain these liberties they immediately added ten amendments. The first enumerates the freedoms paid for with their own blood. The remainder, in order of importance, serve to provide citizens the means by which to ensure for themselves their own freedom.

Cognizant of the nature of man they knew a system of checks and balances might prove inadequate to prevent the ultimate devolution into a self-serving government comprising people dedicated to their individual greed and lust for power--a government without regard for the people. To prevent this they guaranteed the citizens of this country the means to demand that government remain of, by and for the people.  The degree to which we as a nation have preserved the freedoms they fought for is directly measured by the respect our government shows to the people and to those rights enumerated in our constitution.

We have from time to time found it necessary to renew this fight for freedom, placing our men and women in harm's way in defense of this country and our constitutional liberties. Most recently this includes our response to an attack against the City of New York, the Pentagon and an attempt against Washington, D.C.

So it is with equal parts irony and alarm that we see the Mayor of New York City set himself against our founding fathers with his recent call for greater federal infringement of our second amendment rights. He seeks to abuse the Fort Hood tragedy, exacerbated by a policy that disarmed on-base personnel, to further erode the rights passed to us by these patriots. Yet he and others like him have neither the courage, nor the moral standing, to use that which they also gave us--the ability to amend our constitution--to achieve what they claim is best for a people who have consistently stood against them. It is  this arrogance, this elitist sense of superiority and subjugation that colonial America rebelled against.

This open assault on our freedom makes securing our constitutional rights more relevant and more important today than ever before.

Friday, November 27, 2009

No Hallucinogens Required

The same misguided soul who supported the notion that anything but Duke's is real mayonnaise has veered off into Atlanta's pizza landscape hoping to convince us he found the best pizza in Atlanta. Since Dunwoody isn't Atlanta (was that an "Amen, Hallelujah"?) it seems fitting and proper to disclose the source of the best pizza in Dunwoody.

It turns out not to be the usual suspects. Not Pizza Hut, which did at one time have the best pizza in Dunwoody as it was one of the few Pizza Huts in America to offer wine. But that location now hosts Peter's and while pizza may be on the menu, it is hardly the top item. Then there is the litany of the other non-contenders. The game-named delivery giant, the paternalistic purveyor and the latter day Saint John of Pizza, though SJoP, on a good day can be a worthy contender. Nor is it the perennial home town favorite, as psilocybin takes one only so far on the trip to pizza perfection.

No siree, the best pizza in Dunwoody comes from an unlikely source: Fresh Market. Yes, those store-made deli pizzas can be the best around. As is they are they are pretty good, especially the "supreme" and "veggie". Not overdone, not greasy and with a crust that is neither too thin, too thick nor too doughy. But it needs work. Obtaining the very best, even starting with something so good, requires enhancement, but like hacking Ikea you will take something good and make it excellent. And like anything from Ikea, this work goes better with a couple of beers. That's why Fresh Market sells Foster's Bitter in the oil can.

Unlike Ikea RTA (let alone hacking), the instructions are simple. You need the veggie pizza and one (only one, fatso) link of hot italian sausage. Remove the sausage from the casing, cook, drain, add as the final topping, pizza in the oven, beer in the belly, ten minutes of cook and chill time, and Voilà--best pizza in Dunwoody.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Healthy Perks

Anybody out there in predominantly Republican, self-made Dunwoody ever have a part-time job? Well did anyone who answered "yes" get health insurance coverage with that part-time job? Probably not.

Did you ever wonder why?

Well the answer is simple. You were not in charge of deciding whether you got those benefits or not. See if you had been in charge, like the Dunwoody City Council is for their benefits, you might have deemed yourself worthy of an unusually generous benefits package and like this council intends,  awarded yourself a full health insurance package for your  part-time job. And remember, you knew this was a part-time job when you took it and you knew the compensation package did not include health care coverage.

Of course this only stands to reason since health costs are the single largest employer payroll-related cost and if you had to pay for it yourself like some other folks, well that would be expensive. Plus it is quite the perk if you can give it to yourself using other people's money, and Dunwoody, in matters large and small, simply  cannot exist without other people's money.

But it gets better. See, adding health coverage to your compensation package is a benefit and technically is not a raise. Of course you could have voted yourself a genuine raise, but it wouldn't take effect until the next term, after you've had to face potential voter outrage. And by conveniently scheduling any mention of this back-door raise until after the deadline for anyone to run against you, you all but eliminate any negative fallout from this outrageous, self-serving behaviour. Observant readers will recall that Dunwoody was founded by a referendum vote conveniently scheduled to virtually assure passage. Same song. Second stanza.

See how clever our politicians can  be? Just like the ones in Decatur.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

The Great Mayo Brushup

A poor misguided soul over-equipped with access to media published a blasphemous treatise suggesting a mayonnaise taxonomy in which Duke's is not atop the hierarchy. This shameless heretic goes so far as to assemble a team of "taste testers" who declare Hellman's to be the best tasting mayo by a wide margin.

One take on this is the obvious -- it is stab at satire, revealing the all-to-common budding journalist's desire to pose as this generation's Swift. After all some of the comments on Duke's taste include "vinegary kick" and an afertaste--qualities long associated with Hellman's and never with Duke's. Of course this could be mere incompentence--the inability to keep the various samples straight. They did note one of Duke's strong points, a robust texture that results in tomato sandwiches with adequate mayo which will not simply squirt out the tomato slices all over your plate.

And this brings us to another incredible point, this author made his first tomato sandwich with a single slice of tomato. Perhaps this correlates with the erudite affectation associated with heirloom this and that, as if heirloom is something obtained by means other than death of a loved one, and even if that were possible that this so-called heirloom retained any of its original value. Regardless, one who actually makes a tomato sandwich with only one slice, no matter how thick that slice, is suspect as a judge of anything southern, and there is little more southern than the tomato sandwich.

At the end of the day, what was true remains true: if you're not spreading Duke's, you're spreading crap.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Public Schools: Golly How the Truth Will Out

The Department of Education recently published a revealing report on just how well states are doing with setting and achieving academic excellence. You know what academic excellence is right? It's whatever your local school board, principals and teachers say it is. At least this is what was revealed by the DoE report.

Turns out when Georgia says students perform at grade level, they really are well below national performance standards. Often so far below acceptable levels as to be deemed incapable of demonstrating basic understanding of the content. Yet we are told they are not only doing just fine, they in fact are excelling.

How can that be? How can this happen when we have a cadre of well-trained, self-sacrificing teachers educators led by experienced principals and adminstrators who are overseen by some of the best and brightest we can elect to our Boards of Education?

At this point you may be wondering how we can be so sure of their capabilities. You are right to wonder. We, the public, have two critically important sources of information on this matter. Unburdened by modesty, educators will gladly testify to their own amazing work ethic and capabilities. Second, the education machine, those education programs in our colleges and universities represent a multi-billion dollar industry, can supply mountains of data supporting what a great job they, and their graduates, are doing. Of course, with more money it could always improve.

These authoritative sources will tell you that one size does not fit all. That they have a better size chart for the brains of the average Abner and Daisy Mae than some Washington bureaucrat. That these standards are not on a continuum, but are orthogonal. That the dimensionality of the modalities and the dispersion of social paradigms...well, you get the idea.

But perhaps there is a simpler explanation: they are lying. That's right, our "educators" are systematically lying. And this is not a nameless, faceless entity. A "school board". Or the "Department of Education". Or the "administration". Or even the "faculty". No. These organizations exist only because of the people in them. People with faces. People with names. People with paychecks. And apparently people with an agenda. People who will do anything to protect their interest and their agenda. People who lie.

And parents, you see these people everyday in your child's school. It is the principal and she has a name. It is the teacher and he has a name. It is the school superintendent and she has a name. And it is the school board members and they have names. And they are all lying to you.

The lie they tell is both how great they are and, as a secondary consequence of the big lie, how great, how smart, how above average your child is. And every parent wants to hear this---every parent wants to believe this, to believe their child is a budding genius. And these educrats know this. And they use this knowledge to their advantage.

This situation is absolutely incredible. Parents have, with the assistance of tax-supported enablers, deluded themselves into believing their child is magically receiving a world-class education in spite of the fact that they know that Georgia public schools are among the worst in a country falling further behind in world rankings. Then, in any given sample large enough to be statistically valid, most folks are going to be average. MOST. Most students. Most teachers. Most parents. Everyone's child simply cannot be above average.

But it gets worse.  In this case, when you consider a larger population, the whole of the United States rather than just Georgia, our contribution to the whole is below average. We have built an education system that consistently turns out below average results whilst paying people to convince us otherwise. And here is the really good part: these propagandists are the same people who produce the below average results in the first place.

Yet there are parents out there, perhaps even reading this, who persist in thinking "well, yes, that may be true, but MY child is receiving one of the best educations in the world." Even with an embedded culture of systemic prevarication it is these parents who have destroyed public education.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Reading the Chicken Entrails

There is much we mere subjects of City Hall can glean from the Great Chicken Debate going on in Warren's World. The superficial topic at hand is whether or not we, the Serfs of Dunwoody, should be allowed more than three live chickens per household as is allowed under current city law.

The debate ostensibly centers around whether the limit should be increased or if this trend towards sustainable poultry will have Dunwoody smelling like a farm instead of just having the image of one on all our signage.

On the "pro" side are council members who lean a bit towards individual freedom and property rights, and who also seem aware of the extensive information and products supporting urban (not just suburban, but URBAN) chicken and egg production for home consumption.

The "con" supporters base their argument on childhood experiences from which they've gleaned that chickens stink and make noise. This isn't the best of arguments but let's give these retired chicken ranchers a good hear.

First we'll ignore the import of the "urban" observation made previously. Then we'll accept the fact that chickens create some stink and hens do indeed cluck. We'll ignore those little nuggets of fertilizer left by the neighbor's dog and we'll consider song birds, well, sonorous. But let's not ignore the fact that everyone in Dunwoody doesn't live in a condo, or a McMansion or a clutter-home. Some folks have yards. Some folks have big yards, some even bigger than their house. Who knew? It would seem obvious to allow those with lots above a certain, reasonable size, say 1/3 acre, a bit of say so regarding their own property and constrain smaller lots to the current restriction with exceptions by way of SLUPs.

Given such a simple solution that protects the individual freedom and property rights on both sides of the issue, on might conclude this is about something other than chickens.  Perhaps what we're seeing is much more important than backyard eggs.

We've been presented with a clear separation between those who support individual rights and those acting like frustrated refugees from a powerless home owners association who can now ram their rules down our throats. Perhaps if some of these folks had mucked out a few stables instead of feeding chickens we would have fewer horse-shit ordinances.