Sanity Reigns

It must be the weather, but sanity reigned at a recent "Smart" City Council meeting. Specifically, the tax intended to fund the effort to buy the Georgia Music Hall of Fame was rejected. It is interesting to note that the Mayor is earning quite the reputation as an advocate of increasing taxes as he is now two for two.

The best objections were based on principles and trust. One Councilor, you can probably guess which one, noted that the Convention Bureau had not followed the requirements of transparency. Such shenanigans are always suspect. Another Councilor questioned the veracity of those who claimed "we will drop the tax if we do not get the GMHoF" by probing whether the real plan was to immediately borrow against the allegedly "potential" future taxes. Very likely that is exactly the plan. Behind closed doors, naturally.

The lame justification of a tax increase is smarmy, but 100% unadulterated Dunwoody, and is based on belief that it is righteous to tax everyone but ourselves. As if any tax we don't pay really isn't a tax...maybe that's the way smarter folks see it.

As for the GMHoF...the Dunwoody proposal, even just as a document, was by far the worst of the bunch, a rather sad sandwich of souse between stale white bread. Starting with a chorus of "listen to us, we're smart" it ends with a crescendo reprise of "how great we art". But in the middle we find little of substance and what is there is rather unappetizing: no recognition of the importance of certification and conservancy, no explanation of the synergies with existing music venues (there are none and no plans for any), the rich heritage of artistic incubation (we have none), just a feeble appeal to greed with a plan to pick into children's pockets with field trips.  This earned Dunwoody a well-deserved last place.

If Dunwoody were serious about music we would already have our version of Chastain Park Amphitheatre, perhaps smaller, perhaps "on the lawn", perhaps at Brook Run, maybe even in conjunction with Perimeter College. Or perhaps even a bandstand in the village--even if only used for the Fourth of July parade. But this is Dunwoody. The public outcry regarding traffic, late night noise and lights would be deafening. And heaven forbid it require trimming a tree. Fact is Dunwoody voters want a sleepy little burgh, and when we want to see a show we'll go to Alpharetta, Sandy Springs, Vinings or Gwinnett. Maybe even the Fox.

This scam was always about getting OPM into Perimeter Center. Fine. Let them acquire the land,  and pony up the dollars, and build their "music center", and update the proposal. If successful, PCID will be to music what Helen is to alpine villages.

School Punch-Down List

We return to our regularly scheduled program...

These are presented without colour commentary or supporting argument. This may be provided at a later date if page hits indicate interest.

Though some items are related these are in no particular order.

• Eliminate tenure.
• Novice teachers have two years before they can be fired.
• Non-novice teachers can be fired with neither notice nor cause. 
• Convert all defined benefit retirement plans to defined contribution plans.
• Eliminate all out of system transfers for children of employees.
• Institute random, no-warning, suspicion-less, post-employment drug testing. 
• All teacher CV available online, including transcripts covering all for-credit study and training programs.
• Reorganize schools into four levels: pre-k thru 2nd grade; 3rd thru 6th; 7th thru 10th; and 11 & 12th grades.
• 11 & 12th grade programs are either pre-college or vo-tech.
• Pre-k thru 2nd grade and 3rd thru 6th grade students have the same Primary Teacher year to year (AKA: looping).
• 7th thru 10th and 11 & 12th grade students have the same "Home room Run" class teacher who is responsible for those students' academic achievement. 
• Primary Teachers and Home Run teachers coordinate meetings between subject matter teachers, tutors, administrators and the student and parent.
• Primary Teachers and Home Run teachers act as in-school disciplinarian on behalf of the parent.
• Allow parents to bid on teachers thru a Dutch Auction with proceeds going to the General System Fund to offset taxes.
• Replace high stakes end-of-year tests with high stakes start-of-year entrance exams.
• Performance on start-of-year entrance exams factors into Primary Teacher and Home Run teacher evaluations.
• Entrance exams are created and administered by a state agency, proctored by junior and senior college students preparing to become teachers.
• De-skill Pre-k thru 3rd grade "instruction": hire high school graduates, give them two years of training and pay commensurate with that position.
• De-skill administrative positions and significantly cut pay ranges.
• Eliminate "golden parachutes."
• Pay "interims" their current salary unless they are selected for the permanent position at which point they are retroactively compensated at the new rate.
• Eliminate all "Curriculum Development" and related positions.
• Eliminate School Resource Officers, using local law enforcement as necessary.
• Eliminate school psychologists/psychiatrists, social workers, grief counselors and other such soft social services. 
• Replace education colleges' hyphenated topic-education degrees with a dual degree (subject matter and education) degree program. 
• Recognize credentials from accredited programs only.
• Accept a license from any other state which has outperformed Georgia on nationally normed and recognized academic evaluations in three or more of the last five years. 
• Recognize only those credentials in a legitimate and directly applicable subject matter or education area.
• Create state curricula--require its use.
• Eliminate the use of vendor supplied texts and related material.
• Require, as a condition for tenure in Education Colleges and as a consideration for tenure in subject matter Colleges, participation in a State-level organization to design curricula, create all course planning and presentation materials (including, lesson plans, texts, ancillary/supplementary material, multimedia material, test banks, etc.), design and supervise the administration of start-of-year entrance exams and perform random, unannounced education audits.
• Create and make available online the Georgia version of E.D. Hirsch's "What your n-th grader needs to know".
• Publish all State-produced educational material under the Creative Commons "Attribution-Noncommercial-NoDerivatives" license.
• Focus on knowledge and skills before "soft topics" like "learning concepts".
• Eliminate "Smart Boards".
• Eliminate the use of computers outside of the library.
• Eliminate the use of calculators outside of science and finance/business courses.
• Install 3 cameras in each classroom: one at the back and two at each side in front. 
• Record all classes and make recordings available to the public in digital form upon request with a maximum 24 hour turnaround.
• Eliminate basketball and football programs.
• Eliminate school lunch, cafeterias and associated employees.
• No bus stop within 2 miles of school.
• Employ no near-relatives, to include spouses, parents, children, grandchildren, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins or any of these prefixed with "ex-", of any exempt administrative personnel, board members or any in-school, non-teaching staff.
• Tax increases must be subject to a referendum.
• Eliminate elected boards of education.
• Costs for all activities not part of core instruction are covered by fees to be paid by parents or guardians of the participating students.
• Make all meeting minutes, call logs, emails, letters, administrative documents (budgets, RFI/Q, bids, etc.), expense reports, vendor reports and any other business document available to the public in electronic form within 24 hours of a request.
• Maintain and make available online an accurate catalog of all documents.
• Make detailed budget data available in spreadsheet form.
• Make all GIS, demographic and planning data available online. 

This should be a good start.

We Interrupt This Program...

...for a news flash: "There are lousy politicians everywhere".

This should surprise no one, but this week brought a trifecta at the state, county and city level.

Under the gold dome we have a senator who has presided over bank failures that have drawn the attention of the FDIC who alleges gross negligence. No problem, right? Even the governor has a "history". Well, it turns out the senator in question chairs the Banking Committee. It gets better. The fellow senator heading the committee which appointed our innovative banker-senator feigns ignorance: "I know nothing about this. I need to get informed before I comment on it". On exactly what criteria did this most knowledgeable senator conclude his colleague was fit in the first place? Or, is there a polaroid somewhere showing someone doing something illegal with a chicken? Like feeding it in your backyard.

We head on over to the county for the next bundle of dysfunctional synapses, where we have DeKalb's Homicide Unit featured on "The First 48", a reality show following investigators during the first 48 hours of homicide investigations. The show's producer selected DeKalb because of the the DPD's superior effectiveness at investigating murders. The plan was approved by the department, supported by the CEO and a contract is in place. Now the County Commission has their collective knickers in a knot. Why? Because some of them think this makes DeKalb look bad. To quote one pointy headed politician: "We're not proud of our murder rate and I'm not sure why we would want any visibility on homicides." Duh? How about so we can address these crimes and get them under control. Given that this commissioner uses the no-see, no-hear, no-say approach to governance he probably hasn't noticed that a significant bit of violence occurs every Sunday at "clubs". Perhaps a bit of attention would reveal a simple solution to at least some crimes. Maybe even something the County Commission could do. Other than pretend there isn't a problem.

Closer to home, we end our second year as a city with the inevitable call for taxes from our unelected mayor, ostensibly for parks. This confirms that our city founders did not and do not have a viable financial plan: we can't afford police that will check out a reported fire; we cannot keep our roads from degenerating into cobbles; and we cannot even care for the parks we have. But we have a plan that includes taking private property, perhaps by force of imminent domain, for citywide trails and linear parks. To do this the city needs money, your money, your tax dollars to pay for it. And keep in mind, this call comes from the same mayor whose wife's sensibilities were offended by a deck built by the neighbor behind them. So. Not in their backyard, but what the hell, if they want to they'll take your backyard.

At the end of the day, it isn't just the hypocrisy. It's the arrogance.

WTF?

Seriously now folks, pointing out the flawed personalities that have driven DeKalb County Schools to a state of irreparable dysfunction and near collapse is not all that interesting and it certainly isn't surprising. Nor is it, or the public school system, all that important. Think about it. If the schools were really that important, you think we'd have let them deteriorate like this? Don't you think people would have put aside their petty self-interests long ago to support the common good?

Yet based on page traffic, almost as much in 48 hours as the site normally gets in a month (except the time it was suggested Dunwoody might land freaknik), one would think The Other Dunwoody had posted the secret of turning lead into gold.

To what can this be attributed? Are delicate sensibilities offended at the F-Bomb? Is that offense somehow titillating? Or, has America's Sacred Cow, public education, been once again exposed for the Bull it really is? Given the furor over the notion that [Tiger] Mom Makes A Difference, and a significantly smarter and better educated child, let us agree it is the latter.

Given that, and now that we have your attention, The Other Dunwoody would be remiss were it not to offer common sense actions that improve the efficacy of education, particularly the fundamentally flawed public education system.

Stay tuned for the upcoming post.

SOS: Save Our Schools

If you simply cannot tolerate the wonderful Christmas movie, "The Ref", because Denis Leary drops the F-Bomb like it's part of the attack on Tokyo, then you might want to leave this post right now.

Seriously, if you think drastic measures are not called for, if you believe we can just talk it over and things will be just fine, that all we need is a little compromise to reach consensus or that consensus is even part of the solution, then you should check out the whiners here or here.












So, you are either determined, or curiosity has bested you.

First, the problem with our schools is not what you would suspect. Anyone the least bit in touch with reality knows that by any objective measure, and by that we mean nationally normed evaluations, DeKalb Public Schools are an educational train wreck. But that is not the problem at hand. A more important problem is looming and as you might imagine, it is all about money. Apparently DCS had built schools in high growth areas (that would be the south) in anticipation of a growing student body, at the same time starving the stable, but overcrowded schools in the north though they are in much need of resources. Then the real estate bubble exploded, the schools not only did not fill, but found themselves with so few students...and here's where the money comes in...that they were not eligible for significant state funding. Given the  administrative bloat of DCS and the fact that anyone occupying the superintendent's office, no matter how briefly, must be given an obscene pay and benefits package,  it should come as no surprise that even a small disruption in the money stream is of the utmost concern.

So how will DCS solve their money problem? Re-districting and school closings. This will put the right number of arses in the right clarses to ensure that DCS gets maximum drain from the state coffers. Sounds simple, right? Not so fast. Apparently way too many groups of folks have something other than achieving the best possible educational outcomes as their top priority. This seems to include job security and pay, property values, and racism and classism.

How best to silence this cacophony of competing narrow interests? Glad you asked.

Here's the answer--some folks simply must have a nice steaming hot cup of Shut the Fuck Up and let the adults solve this problem. This is no time for petty jealousies, nor for the greedy and self-interested to re-enact the tragedy of the commons playing fast and loose with

our school system and with flagrant disregard for education outcomes.

These obstructionists include, in no particular order:

Those who seem to think that schools, particularly the ones near them, exist for the sole purpose of increasing, or in today's climate, maintaining, their property value deserve a full cup of Shut the Fuck Up.

Other folks, probably with no direct interest in education but who nonetheless  pontificate on the moral imperative of proper classroom diversity, as only they can define it, need a grande cup of Shut the Fuck Up.

Those suggesting that folks living in apartments are somehow inferior, and if educated as a group simply won't get an adequate education have earned a really hot cup of Shut the Fuck Up.

Parents who think those same apartment dwellers' children will give their little darlings cooties, or that the only benefit these other people offer are some basketball moves, well, they too get a cup of Shut the Fuck Up--two lumps, no cream.

And, if you're a mop pushing janitor who now feels entitled, as if you're somehow critical to a good education, then yes, you are entitled. To a nice cup of Shut the Fuck Up.

And what about those administrators who justify their bloated salaries and gold-plated benefits by comparing their position to what they (and virtually no one else) considers an equivalent private sector position? Well, they'll need their Shut the Fuck Up in a to-go cup because we're calling their bluff--they need to hit the bricks and prove the value of their immense skills in the private sector.

Teachers, by their self-aggrandizing re-labeling of "educator" and their made-up, neither here nor there hyphenated degrees, have worked diligently, day and night for what has heretofore been a mere sip of Shut the Fuck Up. But have no fear, you'll not be asked to crawl down from that cross you climb up on every time you get a public forum--you just stay put and we'll have someone top your cup off. To the brim. Free refills.

And finally, parents who think they have a bigger say in how schools are run because their darling little one's are in school get as big a cup of Shut the Fuck Up as they need, but not a drop more.

Now, everyone good? Great! Will the remaining adults please finish the job in such a way that each student gets an education that maximizes their individual potential while reducing per-student cost by 20%?

Never Say Die

After reviewing Dunwoody's proposal to relocate the Georgia Music Hall of Fame to a recently closed women's shoe outlet at Perimeter Mall, the GMHF board has spoken: Dunwoody scored a well deserved dead last and barely scored half of the top score. And even the top proposal was rejected.

Normally that would be considered quite a setback, even "game over". That would be to underestimate what makes Dunwoody such a Smart Choice. Ego alone prevents the realization that a proposal beginning and ending with repeated résumés might have been off-putting if not outright arrogantly self-aggrandizing. Perhaps worse was inserting the peculiar notions that preservation is not the mission of a museum and that a retail outlet is somehow an ideal location for priceless artifacts. The latter is allegedly based on the assertion that a mall is where children want to go and the revenue stream is largely based on laundering parent and taxpayer money through students via school field trips. It is unlikely that any teacher was consulted on the desirability of chaperoning 5th grade field trips at a major shopping center.

None of this will deter the power(s) that be behind this rather queer effort to whitewash Dunwoody as a music mecca and Georgia music as perhaps not indigenous, but somehow aligned with Dunwoody. Their take-away from the Board's vote is simple: we need payola--taxes, and preferably from folks who cannot vote in Dunwoody elections.

Hence, the proposal being advanced is to increase the hotel tax and spend the money subsidizing the Sid and Marty Kroft version of the Georgia Music Hall of Fame. We are left to wait with bated breath to see if the Dunwoody Docents can commit enough of Other People's Money by the April 30 deadline to move from worst to first.

De-Balkanization

It is the silly season when the General Assembly meets under the gold dome to engage in all manner of absurdities. One item on the hit parade is the quaint notion of re-creating "Milton County" when that is exactly the wrong thing to do.

The Atlanta area faces serious problems in transportation, air and water resource management and spotty if not systemic financial mismanagement. These are regional issues, bigger than any one county or any one city and we are structurally incapable of marshaling the region's resources to address these problems. In fact, it is the structure of governments in this region that have created many of the problems. 

The Atlanta region suffers from small, self-interested and competing governments organized around what are now irrelevant and what have always been arbitrary geo-political boundaries.  It should be no surprise then, that these are run by small, self-interested politicians. To make matters worse, rather than consolidating for the common good, in recent years we've seen splits along socio-economic class lines further exacerbating balkanization by institutionalizing resource fragmentation and formalizing cultural separatism. The City of Dunwoody is just the latest example.

This balkanization and the power grabs behind it have created inappropriate loci of control and responsibility, and wasteful use of resources due to inefficient replication in the administration of key services.

What follows is a proposal for a new regional structure with appropriate allocation of responsibilities and resources to recover from our self-inflicted damage.

But just what is "this region"?

The US Census Bureau considers the Atlanta Metropolitan Statistical Area to include 28 counties in North Georgia with an area equivalent to the entire state of Massachusetts. The Atlanta Regional Commission only covers 10 counties: Cherokee, Clayton, Cobb, DeKalb, Douglas, Fayette, Fulton, Gwinnett, Henry and Rockdale.

This proposal, since it is radical anyway, would create a "Martha County" consolidating Fulton, DeKalb, Clayton, Cobb, Cherokee, Gwinnett and small, contiguous parts of Rockdale and Douglas counties. At the outer edges this new county would acquire property or property rights to establish a green belt of undeveloped land providing a barrier to outward sprawl, and encouraging (re)development of a well-defined metropolis. Where the cost of outright acquisition is prohibitive, the purchase of future development and/or rights of refusal achieve the same goal. By agreeing to deed restrict the future use of their property owners receive immediate compensation and lower their current cost of ownership.

Furthermore, there would be no unincorporated areas within Martha County. Each area inside the County would be annexed into an adjacent city, chosen by the voters in the annexed area or incorporated as a new municipality. This is critical to maintaining the separation of regional and local responsibilities and control.

There are relatively clear responsibilities, and resources, that belong at the regional level simply because the regional problems are shared by everyone in the region.  That most of these newly formed cities have banded together via IGAs offers an existence proof that they have taken on what are indeed regional issues. These would be handled by Martha County and would include:

• Water Management: including potable water supply, storm and sanitary sewers, conservation and enforcement. This would unify the potable and waste water systems and consolidate management and enforcement of conservation, runoff and pollution ordinances.
• Waste Management: including yard waste, garbage, household waste and recycling. Consolidation will bring the scale necessary to negotiate favorable contracts and establish effective recycling programs.
• Law Enforcement: traffic enforcement on all interstate highways and arterials as well as maintenance of a county wide SWAT and drug interdiction force. Regionalizing these removes the current money-motivation behind some smaller cities taking on jobs they cannot handle. Jails and detention centers are also a regional responsibility.
• Fire Protection and Safety: all first responders, medical and fire. This will also include life-flight operations and subsidized trauma centers.
• Transportation: the 800 lb gorilla. The Martha County Transportation Authority would take over responsibility and control for public transportation through out the county. It will also assume control and responsibility for ground transportation maintenance and growth, including arterials within municipalities.  Residential and other surface streets remain a local responsibility. And, most controversially, full responsibility and control over air transportation in the area, freeing Hartsfield-Jackson from the well earned reputation of being a cesspool of corruption and leveraging those resources for the common good of the region.

Municipalities retain responsibility for those things that benefit most from local control:

• Schools: All K-12 become a municipal responsibility. This results in smaller school systems that more accurately reflect the community. At first glance this would seem inefficient, but the Atlanta area has proven time and again that large systems are intrinsically corrupt and cause more waste and educational damage than any loses that would be associated with replication across smaller systems.
• Zoning: since this establishes the character of a community it is naturally a local concern, as is administration of variances and enforcement of codes.
• Parks and Recreation: much like zoning, parks and recreation are a reflection of the community and the value they place on public spaces and common areas.
• Local Law Enforcement: concerned primarily with quality of life ordinances and municipal traffic enforcements. Should police in the schools be necessary, these would be local LEOs.
• Streets: maintenance of surface streets and associated infrastructure (street lights, power rights of way, etc.) are managed by municipalities. This justifies their precious back-door tax of franchise fees.

This plan will not sit well with the politicians who will lose power due to consolidation, nor with overpaid school admins as smaller systems can neither justify, nor hide, their outrageous pay. Local police chiefs will not like having their wings clipped, but citizens will not suffer the burden or oppression of a hodge-podge of paramilitary forces. The good ole boy network that controls roads and the airport will cry foul--that alone justifies immediate action.

If one accepts this definition of "crisis", a crucial stage or turning point in the course of something, then this region is at just such a turning point. We will either muster the grit and determination of a Scarlett O'Hara and pull ourselves out of an enlarging disaster or we will continue to tune Nero's fiddle, leaving it to our children to sing "Ashes, Ashes, we all fall down" and for their children to pick up the pieces.

Fan Rag Evicted

Rumor has it that a publishing misstep on the part of the Dunwoody Fan Magazine may result in their eviction from the City of Dunwoody. This all stems from a recent insert to the rag, a glossy covered Dunwoody "guidebook", probably intended to grace the lobbies of hotels and businesses in the area. But for one small problem: the table of contents sports two blatant mistakes: "Featuress" and "Dunwoodt".  For avid readers of the Dunwoody Fan Magazine, "Feature" is a rather stout word, capable of standing in plurality with a single "s", and "Dunwoody" actually ends with a "y", not a "t" and not even a five point star, though the satanic allusion to a pentagram resonates.

In the absence of the recently unveiled "We're so smart. You're so not." branding campaign, this otherwise rather ordinary and all too common Fan Rag Faux Pas would pass unnoticed. But not now. Not with the entire world focusing attention on the "Genius City" of Dunwoody, breathlessly waiting for our city leaders to reveal the Grand Unification Theory. This will not pass without world notice and certainly has not eluded the folks at Smart City Hall.

A spokesman for the Bloated Yet Expanding City Attorney's Office, who cannot be named because he doesn't exist, explained the City's position:

"The City of Dunwoody finds this to be an unconscionable act of stupidity. It is wanton. It is reckless. And [pause for effect] it is unacceptable."

"This is a Smart City. In fact, THE Smart City. We all know it. We all say it. Yes, we've set the bar high, but we feel this is necessary to uphold the new tradition we've created. This blunder is incompatible with that tradition and we, as a City, must take direct and immediate action. We have therefore taken steps to ensure this offender moves out of Dunwoody."

When it was suggested this was but two words out of thousands and perhaps this was a bit of an over-reaction, the apparition continued:

"Look. Most of the content was obtained from other sources. All the Fan Mag had to do was pull it together, slap on a Table of Contents, Copy Edit and PROOF READ, and get the things printed. You ask professional journalists to do this because they are supposed to be competent, but now we know. This is a Smart City, always has been, but to keep it Smart we sometimes must ensure that those not able or willing to meet our standards find a place more suited to their kind. We're going to help them get started on that search."

Another commenter questioned the possible impact this could have on the Fan Rag's status as the City's Official Organ.

"Organ, Schmorgan. It's all on the table. Can you imagine the liability if a business or citizen posts a legal notice, but these goofballs drop it on the floor? Who's going to take the hit for that? There is not a court in this land where incompetence is a viable defense. So yes, now that there is competition we will examine all options."

So there you have it, dear readers, the latest gossip in the Smartest City. Stay tuned as the drama unfolds. Will the Fan Rag pull up and leave, or will they enjoy a forced exit? And will Dunwoody stand by its wavering, flaccid excuse for an Organ or will we man-up and embrace the new, virile option? Only time will tell.

MLK in Dunwoody

The game is afoot and Dunwoody has responded by incorporating yet another "non-profit" in an attempt to snag the Georgia Music Hall of Fame. As some may know, the GMHF has fallen on hard times and being the opportunists we are, Dunwoody is ready to pounce. The bid is in. It is stacked with two résumés for each and every member of the newly minted non-profit--a tactic clearly intended to demonstrate their incredible abilities to make a profit, yet it nonetheless makes a compelling case for relocating the irreplaceable GMHF assets from an AAM certified facility in Macon to the stock room behind an expansive gift shop in Perimeter Mall.

But they've run into a wee little problem. The tale that follows was recounted to The Other Dunwoody by a meeting attendee who cannot be named because they are not authorized to speak on behalf of the "no-pro". As it turns out, only one person is allowed to speak for the no-pro, and he speaks too much.

The meeting, held recently at an undisclosed location, was dominated by The Grand Poohbah, designated speaker, and the Purveyor of Bloated Non-Profit Salaries, also serving as Treasurer, who enjoyed the ill fate of reporting the bad news to Pooh.

"Pooh, I just got off the phone with the head of GMHF and they have a problem with the Dunwoody relo."

"Look, Purv, I thought I had this locked down. This isn't more whining about their precious artifacts being stored in...what did they call it...yeah, a "smash and grab" shopping center? Or is it that AAM certification crap again?"

"Well, those two are still on the table. Sort of."

"What do you mean 'sort of'?"

"It's like this Pooh: it seems, outside of Dunwoody proper, and you know what I mean by proper, there are lots of African Americans in Georgia. It should come as no surprise that this is reflected in the demographics of both the inductees and attendees of the GMHF."

"So? Just because Dunwoody is in Georgia, doesn't mean there's Georgians in Dunwoody. It's always been that way. Plus, this is the 'Town in Beige' not 'Somewhere Under a Rainbow'.  And we didn't paint the Farmhouse WHITE because the paint was cheaper!"

"Yeah, Pooh. I know...I know. But it's different now. Things have changed since you moved here. Now we want something from The Other Georgia and well, they want something from us. They won't even consider our bid without it."

"OK Purv. What the hell is it? Do they want more money under the table? Is this just another shakedown? Haven't  we paid them enough already?"

Purv, in a voice tinged with fear, whispered his response. "Dammit Pooh. I told you about that kinda talk. You keep it up, folks are gonna find out and you'll have us all in trouble. And NO, that's not what it is. It's even worse."

"What could be worse?"

"I'll tell you what. Turns out they've looked over every map of Dunwoody and come to find out, we don't have a street named after Martin Luther King. Not a one. Nowhere. And they'll not have the GMHF in a city without one."

"Alright Purv! I've had enough of your practical jokes and you've wasted enough of all our time. Especially mine! And who else was in on this prank? I want names. NOW!"

"Look Pooh, this is no joke. And they're not negotiating on this. There is no wiggle room. None whatsoever. Fer crissakes they're even ON Martin Luther King Boulevard in Macon. This is serious. We've gotta find a street to rename and push it through Council ASAP or Athens is gonna win with that silly 'we're the most musical city in Georgia' bullshit. And Athens has a Martin Luther King Parkway."

"OK. Fine. Let's pick a street. How about Jett Ferry? Get it? Jett?"

"Yeah, Pooh, I get it. And even if you weren't trying to be funny, you know what kind of people live on Jett Ferry. Can you see them sending out Christmas cards with an MLK return address? How about Ashford-Dunwoody? That's where it will be located and it's a silly name anyway." 

"Negatory, Purv. I've got plans for renaming that road." Nods of approval all around the room. "How about over by Winter's Chapel? Those folks won't complain, half of 'em don't even speak English. Or Tilly Mill? You gonna tell me there's folks wantin' to rename it 'Golda Lox Lane' or something?"

Purv ended the uncomfortable silence, responding in a firm, controlled voice. "Pooh, this is serious and if you can't be, then it's you who's wasting time. We gotta come up with a street and it can't be so obvious we shoved it in a corner. Get with the program."

Pooh, not acknowledging the prior offense and with more than a little anger in his voice retorted: "Don't talk to me like that Purv. I'll have your ass if you do. So what street would you pick since you're so smart? You think you're gonna rename Mount Vernon or Chamblee Dunwoody, or even Dunwoody Road?"

"Dunwoody Road is out. You can't even begin to imagine the hell we'd catch from that asshole blogger on that one." As Purv pours over an expensive GIS map of Dunwoody, he stops, looks up and says, "I've got it. This is perfect."

"Ok, so what is it?"

"Nandina!"

"Nandina? Where, or what, the hell is Nandina?"

"Nandina. It's that short piece of pavement between Mount Vernon and Chamblee Dunwoody that all those assholes use as a cut-through."

"You mean the jerks who expect the whole world to stop so they can make a left turn?"

"Those are they.  This is perfect. It's in lovely downtown Dunwoody. Folks on both major roads will see the signs and know how inclusive we are. It's close enough to the Farmhouse to be a place of honor, but independent enough that it will not evoke antebellum images."

"Purv, stop with the gibberish and speak English." Pooh leans over the map and smiles. "Ya know what? You're absolutely right, Nandina is perfect. With a name like that it can't be related to a founding father. Sounds Mexican so no Dunwoodians will object...can you imagine the uproar if we renamed a cul de sac called 'Brickleberry Lane'?"

"You can NOT name a dead end street after Martin Luther King!"

"Right. With Nandina we only have to change two signs. Not as good as one, but still not bad. And think of the money we save, when...er...if we change it back. You're a genius! But there's only one other thing."

"What's that."

"Everybody has to know it was my idea."

"WHAT!!???" It's MY idea."

"Look, Purv, you signed an IPR agreement. All ideas belong to me. That's just the way it is."

Purv, obviously annoyed, said "Fine. We're still not done Mister Idea Man. What are you gonna call it: Boulevard, Street, Road, or Lane? Or maybe you think it would be a good idea to call it 'Alley'?"

"You're about to cross a line you don't wanna cross there Purv. Anyway, I don't need to make that choice. Though I'm sure they'd rubber-stamp the idea, it's nice to throw the Council a bone every now and then. This is one of those times. Let them pick, then they're committed to it too. Now, unknot yer shorts and get the ball rollin'. We need an official Memo From The Staff signed by 5K. We need it inside the hour, so get moving. When you get that done, get those biddies over at 'Lemonade Days' started on the renaming ceremony. I'll be busy writing my speech."

There you have it Dear Readers. Martin Luther King Jr. is coming to Dunwoody and we have the Georgia Music Hall of Fame to thank for it.

Ending Welfare...

...one handout at a time.

What could welfare possibly have to do with Dunwoody? Well, quite a lot actually. Seems that many folks in our fair city have been and continue to be recipients of one of the most ill conceived government assistance programs on the books: The Mortgage Interest Deduction. The collapse of an artificially inflated real estate bubble gives this nation a clearer vision of routinely ignored bad real estate practices and policy, and offers an opportunity for action. And there will never be a better time to eliminate this disastrous tax loophole.

This particular corporate welfare has never made fiscal sense, but few things originating in the greed of narrow interests ever do. And let's be clear: that the money is laundered thru individual tax accounts does not change the fact that it is the legal firms, banks and real estate agencies that receive these benefits. This policy has artificially inflated home prices, supported an archaic, but highly profitable business model and made quite a few otherwise worthless people rich. Any buyer who has attended a closing is painfully aware of the fact that many people, none of whom contribute a tangible thing to the process, leave significantly wealthier, whilst the buyer leaves with debt and the risk associated with the underlying asset. Some seem to think the bank shares this risk, but they slept thru the brief discussion of Private Mortgage Insurance. Fact is the process of transferring a home from a seller to a buyer is extremely, and intentionally inefficient. It is simply wrong for this waste to be subsidized by our tax dollars.

It is also bad civic policy. The big reason buyers are attracted to ill-fated real estate ventures is a pervasive American desire to "screw the feds". Apparently mass delusion has taken hold and a majority of Americans think it is far better to pay a banker a dollar so they can avoid sending a quarter to Washington, than to take a hard look at what they can really afford and live within their means. As dim an opinion as you may have of the Federal Government, can anyone, outside of friends and family, really claim that bankers are a greater asset to society? Or is it the lawyers who really need this largess and the bankers are just a necessary evil?

At its very heart a real estate sale is a private transaction between a buyer and a seller. If either, or both, wish to engage third parties, inspectors, lawyers, or brokers, at their own expense, that is their choice.  For our government to get involved, with the end result of simply enriching these hangers-on, is a practice that can and should stop. Now.