Sex Trade In Dunwoody

The title got your attention, didn't it?

WTF is wrong with you people? Two posts from many, many moons ago see continual traffic from the rather disturbing group of folks that seem to find this site via search engines. What is disturbing is they seem most interested in searching for "boobs" and the "f-bomb" right here in Dunwoody.

One post, a perennial favorite, has the keyword "boobs" in the title. This turns out to be the third or fourth definition of that word, to wit "the boobs down at City Hall doing an end-around the constitution to ensure there are not now and never will be any naked female breasts in these here parts. What is really funny is that there is a post that links to a video of courageous women baring their breasts for the "greater good". This post gets no traffic whatsoever. It must not show up in searches for "boobs in Dunwoody".

There also seems to be a rather childish obsession with the F-bomb. One can only imagine giggly readers ROFL-ing over the STFU diatribe regarding DeKalb County Schools. Yet there is another post with serious game changing suggestions that like the aforementioned "greater good" post has seen no traffic in over a year.  Maybe the Convention and Visitors Bureau should be concerned about the number of Google searches for "Eff-ing Dunwoody" instead of "Smart City".

So, to ensure that seekers of the sex trade in Dunwoody get the real story, "boobs" will be one of the labels on this post. It is up to the reader to disambiguate and determine if it is relates to the content of the post or the silliness of the seeker.

Stopping Speeders In Dunwoody

Dunwoody is filled with folks who "ain't from around here" who simply cannot resist telling us how to do things they way they are done where ever it is that they come from. Then we get the folks who travel, who claim to have a world view and can't wait to show us how far from real civilization our pedestrian little lives are. It is always better somewhere else.

But...

Every now and then someone in a far-off land really does have a unique, a new, dare we say even a better idea. In this case it comes from Denmark (not the place with the tulips---that's Holland and they're called "Dutch", and yes it makes your head hurt) and it deals with a problem near and dear to our hearts: speeding. Or rather, how to prevent, or at least reduce, speeding.




This Danish Technique shows great promise both in addressing the speeding issue as well as alleviating some of the negative aspects of traffic congestion. Of course there are problems, not the least of which is the need to import adequate talent. Then there is the Itty Bitty Titty Committee to contend with as they are sure to get their panties in a wad. But as Dunwoody has demonstrated time and again in its first year of operation, where there is a will there is a way.

This is a solution many in Dunwoody would gladly embrace.

Dunwoody To Outlaw Boobs

At a recent meeting of Dunwoody's Itty Bitty Titty Committy (yes, they spell it that way) plans are underway to celebrate the criminalization of Boobs in Dunwoody. With the help of the IBTC, Dunwoody has crafted two ordinances to ensure that baring breasts in Dunwoody be virtually banned.

Committe chair, Barbara Beacoup, thanked the many participants who contributed to the success of the effort saying "and you should all be proud that our efforts will put an end to this before it gets off the ground." She also added "while we all acknowledge these bare breasted women would earn significantly more than they might otherwise, it must be said that most of the boobs are fake thus making it just another form of fraud. It's a shame we had to use liquor laws and dance around the first amendment, but we did and we got the job done."

Co-founder and treasurer, Vera Vadeveist, addressed the assembly by noting these efforts not only protect the community but more importantly preserve the integrity of the nuclear family. "Our men should not be tempted into blowing the family's money. They need to stay home and learn to appreciate what they have." "That's right", Barbara chimed in. "This isn't a case of getting what you pay for, it's about paying for what you already have."

The featured speaker, Sister Mary Bernard of the Order of the Blue Nuns and official IBTC Moral Advisor remarked that this was a most excellent start, but it is just the start. "While no one is advocating a return to a puritanical general dress code, as I am a nun after all", a comment which sent giggles throughout the audience, "but we as a community have become too lax. For example, the skimpy clothing worn by our daughters at the Dunwoody High School car wash fund raisers is an embarrassment to the community. Downright shameless." Sister Mary B challenged the membership to fight complacency, to move beyond mere areola coverage to a more modest climate where the prurient would not be exposed to even the hint of a bikini line.

This challenge was enthusiastically embraced by the membership with the chants of "Lily White! Outa Sight!". Questions of bikini line elimination by tanning salons and the potential for extended surface area exposure that might offer were addressed by formation of a special task force. This group will determine if these businesses can operate legally in Dunwoody and if they can, how best to change that.

Shortly after Sister Mary B concluded her remarks and other, minor business was addressed, the meeting, as all must, came to a close. But unlike other meetings, those of the IBTC end with entire group singing the official IBTC hymn: "In olden days a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking, now heaven knows..."

Thank God, we in The Other Dunwoody have these fine folks looking out for us.

TOD