Guest Post: Baby It's Hot Outside

Once again we reach out to Calinky, this time with an uncle and nephew reminiscing about the wisdom imparted by a recently departed brother and father. You'll find that you can't fix stupid, but sometimes you can avoid it.

Harry, I gotta tell ya, I was down at the fillin' station last week listening to young'uns, no offense, bitchin' 'bout their power bill and how the power company reported record earnings. Like they thought those two don't somehow go together. 

Isn't the "fillin' station" that bar down the street from the "Town Pump"?

Yep, and that Whore House has the best Italian in the tri-state area. Francesca's putane...

Back on track?

Anyway it got me to thinkin' about yer dad, brother John, and how he tried to save pops from a big mistake, and how he sure as hell saved me from one. Ya see, there was this one guy preachin' hellfire and damnation to the power company and heapin' all praise and glory on his magnificent solar system. Ya remember when, back in the late '70s I think, when pops put that solar water heatin' system on his roof? Course ya don't. Anyway that thing was trouble from day one. Hardly ever worked. Almost never stopped leaking. Finally froze up and pops paid more than it cost to rip it out. Tore up the roof somethin' fierce. John tried to tell him it was a bad idea. In fact, he told him that whenever the government "gives" you money to do something then that is most certainly something you should not do. Pops wouldn't listen. Said John was showing off that fancy book learnin' he got at that trade school over near Atlanta. What was that...

Southern Tech. He went to Southern Tech, but it's gone now. So is he.

Well, 'bout twenty years after pops learned his lesson I was fixin' to get ready to learn mine. It was the late nineties, maybe early naughties, and folks were puttin' these solar panels on their roofs to make their own electricity. My neighbor got some, and upfront they were expensive, but he was so excited about all the money he was gonna save on his power bill, while neighbors like me were gonna pay and pay. Next time I was over to John's he was grillin' steaks on pops' PK...whatever happened...

On the deck. Use it every chance I get.

Good. Pops'd be proud. He didn't talk much about Korea but he loved that PK. And John, he could make that thing singe a steak just right. Durin' dinner that night I was tellin' him 'bout everybody gettin' these solar systems and how I was thinkin' 'bout getting one too. He got that look on his face. You know the one, not smilin', not frownin', just looking atcha like you're a damn fool breathin' his air. Without permission. Well, he lit into quite the lecture. While we were eatin'.

"I got no clue what problem you're trying to solve, and I'm certain you don't either.  But whatever it may be let's look at what you're getting into. Now I understand the price of these systems can be all over the map, but it seems they run between twenty and fifty grand, and that's a lot of money. Let's say you're looking at thirty grand, but you ain't got thirty grand, you ain't getting it from me, so you're gonna have to get a loan. Let's say you drag this out for fifteen years, presuming you're going live there that long, then at today's interest rates I'd say you're probably looking at a payment of about $250. Let's use that. What the hell are you doing, running the A/C with the windows open? Yeah, yeah, you could get some money selling extra power back to the company, but they're gonna pay you what it costs them to generate, not what you pay. Outside of summer, that's pretty much what you're getting out of that system. During summer, you might run your A/C for free, during the day, but at night you're still paying out. You'll be lucky to save more than $100 per month on average."

"Then it gets worse. These things lose efficiency as they age, mostly in the first year, about ten percent. It slows down after that, but they will still lose efficiency. Time you pay off the loan, they ain't gonna be what you bought. They are also high tech electronics, and like all high tech electronics, next year's version is gonna be better, either at the same or a lower cost. Ain't quite like Moore's law and computers, but they're gonna get better and cheaper. Then there's hail. You do remember hail, don't you? Don't answer that. You get reminded every time you see those dents in the hood of your pickup. Shattered the windshield if I remember correctly. Hail will do the same thing to those panels. You probably don't have insurance to cover that. In fact, you may not be able to get it and if you can it's gonna cost."

By now we're done with dinner and are sitting in the den nursing our beers. Didn't slow the lecture. Not one bit. 

"I'm gonna tell what you should spend your money on that's better than solar. Stock. Specifically stock in the power company. I know. You hate them. But you only hate them because they're making money. Always have. Always will. See, the power company is regulated and driven by government forces. Governments are handing out "incentives" to get companies to move to your state, and this seems to be working. This drives up demand for electricity, and the power company has to meet that demand. But they are also regulated by a Public Utility Commission that prohibits them from charging whatever the hell they want. I know it doesn't seem like that when you write that monthly check, but trust me, they'd charge more than that if they could. But the PUC also has to consider what the ratepayers are actually paying for, and in general, they would prefer that not be interest. They know meeting demand means capital investment that will require the power company take on debt, so the PUC wants to keep the bond rating high, and that means the power company must be in good financial standing. That's key to what I'm about to tell you."

"Let's say after loan payment, insurance premium, power savings and buyback that your net average monthly expense is $175. Now let's say that instead of spending that on keeping up with the Jones' that you invest that in power company stock. At current prices you'll pick up about 10 shares a month, and with the stock appreciating at around six percent per year you will buy fewer as you go along, but you'll average 5 shares per month ending up with around 900 shares. These will be worth more than you paid, and by my guesstimate they will also yield at least $1.75 per month in dividends. That's a little over $1500 per year."

"I'm gonna suggest you reinvest the dividends, and not just because that's what I do, but because this will drop that six percent stock price appreciation down down to one and a half, and you'll end up with well over 1500 shares. That's over $2600 per year in dividends. Now I am assuming you have $175 a month to invest in power company stock, but it seems like you're willing to commit to more than that anyway. See, the savings are speculative, the cost of those panels is set in stone."

I don't know if I wasn't expecting him to sell past the close, or if it was the beer, but I didn't see the knock out punch til it landed. 

"Here's the best thing. Let's suppose you and Nancy stay in that house until you retire, say twenty, maybe twenty five years from now. Those solar panels will be shot, if they're even still there. You may actually have to replace the roof, which means taking them off, and then will it be worth the cost to rehang clapped out panels? Don't think so. But let's assume they are there when you retire, and that when you retire you guys move. Maybe to the beach. Maybe the mountains, my choice, but wherever. You move. You ain't taking those panels with. But those dividends will follow you anywhere, and if you want you can pay the power bill wherever that might be. And if you decide to keep up the investment past the original fifteen years, maybe five or ten more, you'll easily be looking at $3500-$4000 annual dividends when you retire. Plus, the money you invested has been safe, even from inflation. You'll have a cushion. Very likely over $100K. Looks better than solar panels to me."

That was a great steak, good beer and a damn long lecture. But I took yer dad's advice. Every word of it, and it worked out better than he said it would. We retired a couple of years ago, we did move, and we don't pay any utility bills. Not electric, not gas, not water, not even internet. It's all paid by the power company. So while I was sittin' at that bar, hearin' those whiners goin' on and on about how corrupt the big bad power company is, I thought about how stupid they are, how stupid I was, and how lucky I was to have the best big brother ever. But you're luckier than I could ever be, because he was your dad.

You Can't Fix Stupid.

You can try to hide it. You can cover it up. You just cannot fix stupid. 

But Did Stupid Leave?

But it doesn't really go away, it just lies in wait, growing stronger, looking for any opportunity to re-appear. To get rid of stupid, you must cut it out and throw it away, something this city is incapable of.

Sign Of Stupidity

There has been ongoing debate about putting some serious money into signs to let folks know they are in Dunwoody. Pretty much a waste of money, but city hall has gone all vain, or maybe they're just jealous that nearby faux-cities waste their money on signage. As it turns out we already have signs that clearly state "you are in Dunwoody." 

Only In Dunwoody

This sign faces west-bound traffic on Mount Vernon just before the intersection with Chamblee-Dunwoody Road. Is your favorite route to I-285 heading north on Chamblee-Dunwoody? It is if you're in this city. 

How do we know? Because this sign was recently run over, knocked down, and whoever put it back in its place failed to notice the stupidity of it all. Actually it is worse than that. Notice the "rain stains" on these signs indicating a change was recently made. 

See The Shiny Bolts?

Does this sign really serve any [legitimate] purpose? Wouldn't things be better without it? Is it the city's way of ensuring that trucks trying to avoid no truck zones are sent directly into them as they try to get to I-285? Does anyone in this city have any sense at all? Certainly not a sense of direction.

Just remember, if you see a sign this stupid, then you're in Dunwoody.

Have They Ever Won?

It doesn't seem to matter whether suit is brought against the city or if the city initiates legal action it isn't clear if the city has ever won. Maybe the losses are just more prominent because of the enormous expense. Maybe they won't need a to float a bond if they quit with these wasteful endeavors. 

Their most recent loss (unless in the brief time since they've lost another court case) regards a legit business, doggy daycare, for the fact that, wait for it, dogs bark! Now this might upset local cats (but is too far from the city hosted cat house to bother the ladies) but they were in violation of no ordinance (when did the city start enforcing those?) yet still worked to placate complainers. Then the city took them to court. And lost. 

Maybe the Truth Butcher can post the city's win/loss record on the website or D-News. Interesting and entertaining.

When All Else Fails...

...act like a petulant child.

Compelling Intellectual Argument?

Is The Party Over?

As in: turn off the lights, the party's over. 

Seems the city wants to ban brightey whiteys...as in outdoor lights. What makes this of any interest at all is the wishey-washey city is the most egregious offender having demanded that Ga Power replace existing argon street lamps with LED lamps. LED lamps that are now in violation of city code. And did we save money? Hell to the no! Why? Because Ga Power collects a capital recovery fee when they replace perfectly serviceable lamps with the trend du jour. Do these new shiny lamps work better? Nope. Turns out they cast a light that is brighter, but it is also less broad than those they replace leaving dark regions between the lights. You may be asking: "what were they thinking?" Consider this: they weren't, but that is the best they can do. Bless their hearts.

 At this point it isn't clear what they plan to do if you've got brightey whiteys indoors that shine through your windows. They're not accustomed to thinking ahead. They're playing checkers when we pay enough to get chess grand master level of thought.

The Most Important Name

The DeKalb County School System is ditching over fifty-eight hundred diplomas because they don't like the way they're printed. Not that the printer screwed up. No typo-s were found. What they don't like is the name on them. These "bad" diplomas have the name of the superintendent they just fired and there is no abiding that. 

This is so stupid it's funny.

They are still paying the super they fired and lawyers are tee-ed up to make sure they pay even more. And all they had to do is set a very, very slightly later termination date to save the costs of binning these and the ensuing rush job for replacements. Simple arithmetic suggests there should have been about twelve hundred more so maybe the schools' inability to retain and educate has saved some money. But sometimes you get the feeling board members are playing checkers when they should be playing chess.

When all is said and done isn't the most important name on any diploma that of the student who earned it?

Doctor, Doctor, Give Me Your Views

Mainstream talk shows (they like to think of themselves as "news programs") like to characterize the un-vaccinated as ignorant, uneducated, mouth-breathing Trump acolytes as if anyone with a brain is certainly vaccinated. Or...not. As it turns out, when sorted by educational level the greatest vaccine hesitancy is found among those with a PhD. Kind of breaks the narrative, doesn't it? How's your narrative working for you?

Grade Inflation

How poetic: Dunwoody gets a "D."

Seriously, this is the kind of city with the kind of service to residents that would make reviewers on Amazon start with "I'd give it a zero if I could" because it is just that bad. There is only one reason this city could possibly rate a D: 'cuz Christmas.

Goosestep In Spandex

There was some expectation that the election would begin the end of social media insanity. No such luck.

The pin that was pulled in the stupidity grenade was the SVA on Dunwoody Club complete with flips and flames but thankfully no fatality. You could hardly count to ten before stupidity shrapnel was shredding social media. 

While acknowledging the complexity of multiple jurisdictions some rather sane folks noted a need for enforcement, particularly with regards to speeding. Someone else pointed out, correctly, that Billy would be dismissive claiming that the average speed in the area is right at the speed limit. He's done it before and it was just as offensive then as now. But does he not run a Toll Troll operation on 285? Do they let folks zip by simply because, on average, they're holding it to the limit or do they pull over those exceeding the limit? Hmmm....

A couple of the dwarfs tuned in and piped up attempting to divert the conversation to a private forum but not before dropping some juicy comments. One, the self-proclaimed Bicycle Nutzi, boldly declared that "enforcement is a temporary band-aid" after having said that "speeding is a direct result of the street design." Yep. He farted in the tub AND bit the bubble.  

So here's a clue: speeding is a direct result of a driver's operation of his vehicle. Period. Which is exactly why enforcement actually works. He may be suggesting that our police department is only going to provide enforcement on a very limited, temporary basis, begging the question of why we even bother with a PD at all. Furthermore, let us hold this dwarf's feet to the fire next time an ordinance comes up for a vote. If enforcement is, in his mind, not to be bothered with, then why have an ordinance at all? 

But to understand the silliness dribbling from this dwarf you must understand we're talking a one-trick pony, or perhaps a mental unicyclist peddling a world of bikes. When you're goosestepping to "bicycles, bicycles uber alles" you see everything as an opportunity to advance your narrow singular agenda: it's all about bikes. Sadly he has the same vote as the other dwarfs but perhaps this is one situation where having the city run by anyone but the seven dwarfs, while not optimal, may curtail some of the stupid. 

It is discouraging to see elected officials working diligently to prove this is not a Smart City and is in fact quite the opposite.

You Were Misinformed...

Once again, with another sky-is-falling school redistricting, we are confronted with the assaults and insults of otherwise intelligent folk who claim "they moved here for the schools." No. Really. That is exactly what they are saying. Well, except for a few malcontents who think their kids should be moved to the new Austin primarily because, well, it IS new. Others are just PO-ed that their kids remain in a school with trailers and they somehow posit that it is sane and reasonable that a brand spanking new school, designed to be higher capacity than the others, should start, right out of the gate with trailers. They seem to adore the idiocy of celebrating poor planning. But it all goes back to the insanity, the absolute ignorance surrounding the idea that someone moved to this little corner of what is certainly the worst school district in the metro area for the schools!

If that's why you came here, to Dunwoody, then you're a bit like Rick in Casablanca.

Just Say No

Colleges and Universities across the United States are dropping entrance exams like a hippity-hopper droppin' da mike. And this isn't just your local community college trying to grow enrollment at any costs, there are some big names including Harvard Law. It don't get no better than that.

Some believe this allows them flexibility in favouring diversity over competence without discoverable evidence that could put them on the losing side of a civil lawsuit. Maybe, maybe not. But there is some merit to the argument that lowering application requirements encourages a greater number of applicants without increasing the number of asses-in-classes thereby decreasing their acceptance rate. Acceptance rate is one of US News & World Reports key performance indicators, the lower the better and better numbers mean greater prestige. This is close but no WEO. They do want significant increases in the application numbers but not just to appease a questionable rag. Applications are not free and no one gives a refund to any applicant accepted or not. So these Colleges and Universities are tapping their brand for new and growing revenues.

And this isn't chump change:

1. University of California-Los Angeles:$5,369,840
2. University of California-Berkeley:$4,681,320
3. Stanford University:$3,632,130
4. University of California-San Diego:$3,608,290
5. University of Southern California:$3,419,440
6. Harvard:~$3,000,000

Millions of dollars taken from dumb chumps many of whom don't belong in any college let alone a big name school. This is taking candy from babies. 

Master's Of Education

Our Feducator In Chief recently erased No Child Left Behind from the educational blackboard to write a new rule: Every Student Succeeds.

The political BS swirling around this had to do with NCLB's characterization as being test heavy and the fact that the tests carried real consequences. It should be duly noted that the consequences fell largely on educators who by and large represent votes. And votes often make the difference between re-election and unemployment.

It also represents a pendulum swing back towards the hens running the hen house. In the most subjective way possible. Just look at the loop holes. While NCLB emphasized "Child," ESS speaks only of "students." And guess who decides who is, and more importantly who is NOT, a student? That's right--educators, the same folks who will, in the absence of deplorable high stakes testing, define "success." Do not be too surprised when we find that in just a few short years students are succeeding all over the place but if you look closely you'll find academic ditches filled with mere children pushed aside because they are too difficult to educate.

We also got a verbal slip up from the Great Orator: the era of one size fits all is over. Really? Is that to say Feducation has not only terminated NCLB but has also mortally wounded Common Core, the poster child for one size fits all?

One thing is certain. We've (re) entered a new phase of education in America sure to be strikingly similar to the morass that drove us to NCLB in the first place.

Arms Merchants

That sums up what the Iraqi "Army" is doing. They take some of the best military equipment and arms the U.S. has to offer and then they had it over the the terrorists of ISIL all the while claiming to fight the good fight.